Every one of my paintings has an ugly phase.
A phase where I have fleeting thoughts of I canâ€™t do this, who do I think I am?Â A phase where I want to quit.Â Give up.
But, the hopeless thoughts come quickly and leave quickly.Â Oh, I am thinking too much again.Â It is not to be taken seriously.Â Â I keep going and I trust.Â I trust the layers of paint.Â And then it happensâ€¦ layer after layer the beauty begins to shine though.
This morning I woke up a little cranky, a little sad, a little overwhelmed. Â I started to feel anxious about that sadness, worried because I have so much to do – my thinking mind was at work again.Â After I moped around a little bit, unsure of where to start, I decided to put a self-care plan into place.Â Â What do I need?Â Immediately, a shower.Â A walk with the dogs.Â A green smoothie.Â A cup of warm tea.Â Â Valor essential oil.
Iâ€™m in my studio now, heater on, masala chai tea in my sweet Anthropologie mug warming my hands.Â Â It is remarkable how much comfort a warm, beautiful mug gives me.
As I sit here, I am looking at the painting on my easel.Â This painting and I worked through the ugly phase together last night.Â Â It makes my heart sing when I look at her today.Â We did it! Â I showed up, opened my heart and trusted the spiritual process.Â It is the practice I rely on for every painting.Â It is the process that guides me through every problem, every blog post, every rough day, and leads to every inspired idea.
Each painting is a connection with The Divine.Â It is that simple, really.
Beauty and love shine through.
Iâ€™m feeling better.