I read lots of spiritual books, go to conferences, workshops, therapists, healers… I am a spiritual seeker rooted in love, and yet I was doing work that did not fill my soul.
It was this way for a long time. I felt defeated. Angry. Jealous. Frustrated. Scared. Stuck. Resentful.
I saw people who were clearly doing work they were meant to be doing for the world and I often felt equal parts inspired and envious. I even stopped following one person on twitter because all her overjoyed tweets regarding one creative endeavor after another made me mad with jealously. I wanted what she had.
Slowly, I began to ease up on my frustration and soften a bit. I began to allow things to be as they were, more often. I started praying each morning, “How may I serve?” I was open to answers. The answers came in serving where I was on that day. I started showing up fully present in the job I was in, knowing that I still had work to do right there. I felt there must be some reason I was still working that job. I started making LOVE my purpose. Loving my students, loving the parents I worked with, loving the grocery store check out person, loving my mom on the phone.
I wasn’t perfect at this by any stretch. And, I still had bouts of frustration and doubt sprinkled throughout.
But I shifted my perspective.
And slowly, but surely, things began to change.
I am learning more and more that it is the subtle shifts in perspective that pave the way for big changes.
-finding a speck of gratitude in situations where there seems to be nothing to be grateful about
-focusing on what I adore about my husband when all I can see are his faults
-accepting what is instead of fighting the situation
-relaxing with a cup of tea, two large dogs and my favorite magazine just to feed my soul, even when my mind is racing with “shoulds.”
All of this makes a difference in my heart, which in turn, allows me to better serve the world and propels me further into a life I love. Little steps forward…so grateful.