A while back a wrote a post about doing art shows and what a disaster it was for me- it was about 8 years ago, when I first started selling my art. It cracks me up when I think about it now. I mean, it was a stay-in-bed-for-three-days-afterward-disaster. Anyway, I haven’t done a show since, but I just sent in an application for an adorable indie art show in my town. It is an indoor market which is so much more doable then the grand outdoor events requiring tents and good weather.
But here was the thing: I had to submit a photo that showed a display of my work. I haven’t done a show since SO long ago and my art has change so much since then. I didn’t have a photo of my display. This might sound silly, but not having a photo of my display completely stopped me in my tracks. My brain started going with a tape of negative thoughts with a zillion reasons why I will not be able to get a good enough photo.
So I sat with that for a couple of days. At one point I decided to just scrap the whole thing. Nevermind it. But then I realized that this is a pattern with me. I decide I will not be able to do something before I even try. I make up limiting beliefs about things being too hard and taking too long to be worth it. I become fearful if I have an idea but cannot see the end result before starting. I guess limiting myself is a way to keep myself from failure- don’t have photo, don’t apply, don’t get in, problem solved. (snip snap)
But for some reason this time, I noticed the negative pattern and it sent me into motion instead of leaving me stuck.
I called a good friend for some advice, borrowed some supplies and began working on my display table. In my studio! I had NO vision whatsoever of what it should look like. I blasted Mumford and Sons radio on Pandora. And I just did it.
It really doesn’t matter if I am in the show or not. Don’t get me wrong- I would love to be in it. But, if I am not, that is good too. Because I did what I needed to do. Even though I was unsure and it felt like too much work. Even though I didn’t know how. It turns out that it was pretty easy and painless. All of the fear was completely in my mind. (Isn’t it always?)
So next I will tackle my limiting beliefs about making videos, books, e-books, (insert any one of my endless list of creative ideas.) Hopefully I am growing and becoming braver with each day. Today it really feels like I am.