part of a painting for my hundred thank yous project
So. In all honesty, I’ve been feeling a bit lost on line lately.
Well, to be completely honest, I’ve been feeling that way since January.
There are reasons why and I can list them: moved from blogger to wordpress without my followers and old posts; started a wonderful, but extremely time consuming grateful project of making a hundred paintings for people I love; wrote heartfelt posts for Roots of She, Kind Over Matter and the I-Studio, but not my own blog – social media overload…those are just a few.
But none of that matters, really. The whys aren’t important. I’ve learned that it is important for me to be quiet and still enough to hear the whispers of my heart. There have been whispers, but I haven’t been listening.
I started taking Liv’s class, Building a Blog You Truly Love (because the universe is wonderful and connects me with exactly what is needed) and it is making my mind expand and open to the possibilities, instead of limiting myself. It is a true gift exactly when I need it most.
Today, my friend, Julia reached out to me with an email to check in and I was able to share this uncomfortable feeling of losing my on-line voice. Simple, kind words from her meant everything.
Today, my friend, Amanda sent this to me by Laura Simms, via twitter, and it made me cry a little. The perfect timing of her sending this to me today, exactly when I needed it most, reminds me that everything is happening exactly as it should. I can rest in that space and wait until I have more clarity.
And, a sweet mama bird made her nest in our front door wreath. Our front door! She is sitting on 3 sweet little speckled eggs. This has got to be a good sign!
I am in the process of change and growth in a very good way. I feel it so strongly.
Now, I just need to listen and see what comes next.
Hello friends! I'm Lori Portka. I make art with the intention to radiate love and healing. 
lori, i hold you like those DEAR kitties above!
i am overflowing with hope as i think of you now,
because for you to begin listening, you will be
hearing out of loriness & that is shining blissness.
looooooooooove you, my friend. xoxox
Oh! I so love what dear Rachel said above…”hearing out of Loriness,” what a beautiful, perfect way to hear. You are shining blissness, my friend. And I am always, always here listening to the Loriness in you.
Those kitties…oh my goodness. Here’s to a group, kitty, holding kind-of-Love.
I’m with the ladies above! What they said!
You are very inspiring right where you are right now.
Much love, Lori! ?
something wonderful always happens
during those looooooong enhales
…..those quiet pauses when your voice
is gathering strength
to sing higher, clearer notes.
Just like that mama bird,
rest easy and don’t rush
…….be soaked in peace
as you wait for the hatching
of this next part of your story.
(I have a feeling it’s gonna be
a real beauty!)
-Jennifer
i love your kitty art…so cute!
i know what you mean by being open enough to allow the Universe to bring us what is needed most in our lives…i really needed Livs class to move beyond some barriers…so i am very grateful i saw that on your blog!!!
Lori~ it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay! Trust what your heart is telling you… there are times to juggle lots of balls in the air, times to set some of those balls on the shelf. The online world can be crazy crazy consuming… and when it stops feeling good, stop! Your work is amazing and takes a great deal of effort…give yourself time when you need it! ?
Lori, YOU inspire me. Simply by being you. I know the whispers within your heart are guiding you in every moment. This online world can get so confusing. I have had these feelings too. Know you are not alone in this. Every time I see a new post on your blog, I stop all that I am doing and “run” over here. Seriously. My heart bursts wide open with so much love and joy when I read your words and take in your art.
Thank you for being all of you. I love you dearly.
And those kitties – beyond words. Pure Love.
I’ve missed you. Wondering when I would see something from you. Love the sweet cats, they remind me of mine, all intertwined–sometimes we need a little break to listen to our inner selfs, it’s ok. Just take a deep breath….we will all be here waiting.
I already hear more of YOU in this post, Lori, and it sounds amazing. Love that you are opening your heart big and wide to see what comes out…and what comes in. Love you!
Dear Lori,
Thank you for sharing. I was just writing about how we can’t do this alone!!! I am learning that the more I show up or speak up, the better I am tended to. It is so hard sometimes, so, I so honor you sharing here. You give and do so much, and have such heart, maybe it is time for us to carry your heart a little.
Sending love,
Brooke
Sometimes it’s in the quiet that we re-discover ourselves..our passions..our voices. Sometimes – we just need to turn it all off for a bit..so that we can move forward. Beautiful..heartfelt..honest post. One we can all relate to!
Oh I understand this very much.
I look forward to chatting with you one day about all this… such a shame I can’t invite you to pop in for a cuppa!! I would really love to sit with you awhile. I think your voice online is so powerful and warm. I feel like the kitten in your painting as I read and look around. I am a kitten nestled into the things that matter and warm my soul.
thank you..
Oh my goodness, what an awesome painting, Lori. It reminds me of our kitties Mops (formerly known as Little Black) and Oje, brothers. VERY sweet! 🙂
Isn’t the feeling of on-coming positive change so amazing…it often keeps me up at night….and to think that we have COMPLETE power whether or not we see change with positiivity, it’s so so easy…once you get in the habit. Good Luck dear soul, good luck XO.