I like going to therapy. When my husband and I got married (a second marriage for both of us) we decided to START our marriage in therapy. We thought that was better than trying to fix things once they got out of control, if they ever did.
Wow, was that a good decision. We’re smart like that.
I still remember the first day we showed up. Our therapist was recommended to us from two of our closest friends who started going themselves when things were getting a little rough in their 10 year marriage. So every time we went out to dinner with them all we heard was, “Oh, our therapist, she blah blah blah..” And we saw happiness and growing and honesty and realness in their relationship. That is when my husband and I decided we wanted more of that.
Anyway, back to the first day we showed up for therapy. We were actually excited to start. It felt so proactive of us. We were feeling proud and beaming with it. See, both of us had troubled first marriages (obviously, since they ended) and if you have ever experienced the end of a marriage then you understand. It bites. And on some level we both carry the emotional wounds of that brokenness.
Not that I think couples need to be or even should always be together forever. I actually believe more in spiritual partnerships that run an honest and natural course that may be for life or may not be. But that is another post altogether.
We knew we wanted to grow as a couple and work on our individual stuff so that our lives would be better. This prayer from Marianne Williamson that was part of our wedding ceremony speaks to this so sweetly.
We surrender this relationship to You and ask that it be used for Your purposes. May our resources and talents and energies and love be pooled and lifted up in Your service. May we become together even more than we are apart. May the light around us forever shine. May the space of our love be a space of healing for ourselves and all the world. Amen
We only occasionally use therapy to manipulate and threaten in the middle of a fight. Usually it’s me. “Wait until our next session! I’m telling her what you said!”
So, I’m a fan of therapy. I like getting in there and talking about all of it. I like that it keeps me honest. And I ADORE my therapist. Adore her. The painting above is part of the painting I made for her for my Hundred Thank Yous project. It says, “You listen with your whole heart.” Yes, she does.
And I am so grateful.